History
by notalexanderhamilton
Summary: James Barnes has spent the last few years living a normal life after being found by the U.S. government in a cryogenic chamber in Siberia. He doesn't have his memory before they found him and they didn't really help him fill in the blanks. He lives with his best friends Clint and Natasha and works at Peggy's Diner which is owned by a lovely woman, Peggy Carter and her niece Sharon.
1. Chapter 1

James Barnes's right arm was filled with a lot of interesting tattoos; he had one that was red, white, and blue with a star, one that said 'Brooklyn 1918', very aesthetically might he add, there was a paint pallet with soft colors of red, blue, brown, black, white, and green, one that was dog tags only had S.G.R, there was a cross with 'Daniel 1:4' written under it, and he had one was like a sparkler that kids play with on the fourth of July but the sparks made out the cancer constellation. He thought they were all beautiful and wore them with pride. What James could make out from his soulmate that they were Christian or Catholic, either in the army or are a veteran, are really patriotic, they're from Brooklyn, and apparently an artist.

James's best friends Clint and Natasha also wore their tattoos with pride, but not everyone could. Natasha's had a theme of red, which Natasha thought was cute, it must be her soulmate's favorite color. Clint's were on the cooler side of things tending to be in blue or grey. Natasha would joke about how James's soulmate must be a hot mess just like James himself. Clint would add on that they'd have to be to be able to put up with James's bullshit.

James was okay not knowing his soulmate for the time being, he only had two friends and neither of them had found their soulmates. James's whole life was a mystery to him, he had been found in what he likes to call a fancy fridge, he was in the military at one point and he remembers that much, as he has nightmares about it, but no one wants to tell him more. He knows his name is James Buchanan Barnes from Brooklyn and that everyone he knew before was dead, which apparently wasn't that many people. They told him he hadn't been in there that long and had a case of amnesia. He kinda just accepted it and moved on with his life, there wasn't much to do. He's in his third year of college as an English and American Literature major, which he has a full scholarship for. He lives with his best friends and they live their lives to the fullest, what much more could James want. One more mystery isn't gonna hurt him.  
Everything was going amazing until the Maximoff twins came into the picture.

James worked at a diner which is where he met them. It wasn't too expensive and wasn't too far from campus so the college student loved it. The 50's themed diner was a place James liked to spend a lot of his time even when he wasn't on the clock, it was owned by this woman Peggy and her niece Sharon. James had met the twins on his off time when Pietro and Wanda came up to him and just started talking. They were both freshman, Pietro was a Kinesiology major and Wanda was a Psychology major. They both seemed great and James thought they'd get along with Nat and Clint, but then when he invited them over to their apartment the three shared there was a whole lot of gold light coming from the room.

He led the twins into the living room and as soon as Clint and Natasha turned to look at the twins James had been talking about for the last two weeks the room lit up and James yelped and almost went blind from how bright it was. As soon as the glowing stopped Natasha spoke, "So which one of you have a passion for the color red and space?" Wanda blushed and smiled, "That would be me." Natasha gave the kindest smile that James had probably ever seen on her and said, "Well how about you come over here and we can talk about our tattoos?" Wanda looked at Pietro who smiled at her and then she walked over to Wanda.

Clint looked at Pietro, "So you're the guy who likes cool tones and the weather?" Pietro laughed, "And I suppose you're the guy who thinks he's Green Arrow?" Clint rolled his eyes, "Green is not my color, I'm personally more of a purple type of guy." Pietro walked closer to Clint and said, "I can tell from all the purple on my arm."

James stood there and groaned, "Are you kidding me? I have to be literally the most unlucky person on this Earth! I have two friends then I by chance make two new friends and the fucking bada bing bada boom, y'all are soulmates and I'm left here to be the awkward fifth wheel." Natasha nodded not looking away from Wanda's arm, "You know I bet your soulmate has tattoos like a black cat, a broken mirror, a four leaf clover on fire, and a big number 13." Clint nodded, "You were a sniper at war for how long and you didn't die, but you almost get killed walking across the street or walking up the stairs."

James rolled his eyes, "I hate you two, you're terrible friends. Have fun with your tattoos and soulmate connections. I'm going to be bitter and alone by myself at the diner or maybe even a bar." Natasha nodded, "Alright have fun, Barnes, don't get too drunk." and Clint added, "Maybe if you leave the diner and wander around town you'll actually find your own soulmate." James glared at them before he left without a word.

"Maybe if you left the diner my ass, what does Clint know anyways. They should be grateful I found their soulmates for them. I'll go to a bar a have a good time, I can go somewhere other than the dinner." With that James made his way to what he knew was Clint's favorite bar, he figured it would be good considering how picky Clint was with his atmospheres, had to have good vibes and not too loud. Of course James wasn't actually bitter about his friends finding his soulmates, he was bitter that they they made jabs at him and his luck and how he didn't leave the diner, it was a nice diner.

A week later after James was actually fed up with his friends being too cute and a little bitter about being alone, but only a little. He decided to complain to his too favorite girls and his favorite diner, they usually had good advice or good at taking his mind off of things.

When he got there Peggy was standing behind the counter, she was well into her 80s but she was still kicking and James had this odd feeling that shed some how out live him. She smiled, "James, it's wonderful to see you here again, but today's your day off. Clint told me he was worried that you didn't actually go anywhere but here and home. Is that true?" James laughed, "That's only partially true, but I needed to talk to you, remember how I told you about when I took Pietro and Wanda to meet Nat and Clint there was four flashes of gold, Natasha and Wanda are soulmates as well as Clint and Pietro. I mean what are the odds? I mean they have to be pretty low odds." Peggy laughed, "It's bugging you that you haven't soulmate yet, isn't it sweetie?" James nodded, "I guess it is. I mean I was fine before because no one else really in my life had met there's, but now I feel left out. They're being cute and happy together and I want that."

Peggy shook her head, "Let me see your arm, James." Bucky took off his jacket and rolled up the little bit of his shirt sleeve. He extended his arm to Peggy and she took a closer look, "So they're Christian, very patriotic, maybe in service or a veteran like yourself, and they seem to be a Cancer. I mean these are beautiful but what kind of throws me off is this, 'Brooklyn 1918' these remind me of a man I used to know when I was working in the military; Steve Rogers, a wonderful man who died much too young. Come to think of it he would have been born in Brooklyn in 1918."

Bucky raised an eyebrow, "Are you telling me, my soulmate is a dead man from Brooklyn who was born in 1918? Pardon me, Peggy, but that sounds fucking insane." Peggy laughed, "Of course not, James. Steve was a very special man, sometimes I wish he was my soulmate, but I don't think he could still be alive. He plunged head first into the fucking arctic. What an idiot. You know you kind of remind me of his soulmate, Bucky I think he was. He was much more clean though, short hair, always shaved, he was a Sergeant, 107th. He died not long before Steve, I think his death took its toll on poor Rogers, it was like Bucky was his impulse control. Even thought I don't remember much of him, not even his real name or much besides his Steve talked about him, I feel like I know a fair amount about him just from Steve's tattoos. I never saw much of Bucky's tattoos, he usually wore long sleeves."

James smiled, "That's really cute but kind of sad. Did you ever meet your soulmate, Peggy?" Peggy gave a warm smiled, "Angie Martinelli, the love of my life, my soulmate, and my beautiful wife for 47 years. She died a few years back from cancer, not a day goes by that I don't miss her, but she's always with me." James smiled, "Must have been one lucky lady to have married a wonderful woman like yourself." Peggy laughed, "I felt like I was the luckiest lady to have her, not many people would have put up with me in my younger days." James just shook his head, "You're still a wild card to this day, Peggy, you drive Sharon crazy."

There a ding from the door and a voice, "Excuse me, are you Peggy Carter?" Peggy straighten up and looked at the man in the baseball cap, "The one and only, sunny." The man laughed, "I never thought I'd live to the day where I heard Peggy Carter call me sunny. I'm a little hurt that you did recognize me." There was a moment of silence and suddenly Peggy whipped out a gun from under the counter, "Who are you? Why are you here?" The man took off his cap and said, "Look, I know this may come as a shock, but it's me, you're favorite idiot." Peggy put the gun down and looked at the man like he was an abstract painting that held the key to figuring out the meaning of life.

"Steven Grant Rogers, I thought you were dead! Why are you so young?" The man, Steve, walked up to the counter, "I froze in the ice and a few days ago they thawed me out. Then I kind of searched for whoever I could find that was still alive, you were the first person I searched for." Peggy smiled, "Damn straight, if you looked for anyone else first and I got word, I would have found you and beat you." James felt very awkward at this reunion, this very strange reunion. He put his jacket on and got up to leave but Peggy said, "Oh, James, honey, you have to meet Steve, he's the one I was talking about earlier." Steve smiled, "Aww, Carter, you still tell people about me?" Peggy rolled his eyes, "I told him about how you flung yourself into the ocean."

James turned to look at the man and was instantly confused, he looked so familiar and he got this weird feeling that he wanted to be close to this man. The man's face was even more confused than James, "Bucky?" James raised his eyebrows, "Who the hell is Bucky?" He looked at Peggy and then remembered, "Oh no, your dead soulmate, that's not me. I know you're fresh out of the ice Captain Popsicle, but he died like sixty years ago. I am alive currently and I'm like in my late twenties, I was born in the 70s." Steve shook his head, "I'm sorry, the ice must have made my brain a little soggy. Anyways I'm Steve Rogers." James gave a weak smile, "Nice to meet you, Steve, I'm James Barnes."

Steve's eye did a little thing and he swallowed, "Not to sound intrusive or anything, James, but is your mother's name Rebecca Barnes?" James froze, he actually had no clue, "I'm going to be real honest with you, Steve, I have no idea who my parents are. I was in the military and one day I woke up surrounded by suits with no memory really. I was told everyone I knew, which wasn't many people I guess, had passed. I only have nightmares about the war I guess, they told me I was a sniper." Steve nodded and Peggy gave them both a warm smile, "Steve, why don't you and James go sit in a booth and talk, James can use more friends. I'll bring you too some coffee and pie, or we'll Sharon, my niece, will; I'm going to watch some television." Steve nodded, "I'll talk to you later, Peggy?" Peggy laughed, "Damn right, don't go freezing yourself again." Peggy walked away.

Steve stood up and walked towards a booth, "Come on, James, I could use some new friends too. Mine are all dead except for Peggy." Steve said this in a light and playful tone but there was something that says the playful part was forced. James followed him to the booth and Steve said, "So tell me a bit about yourself, James." James thought for a second, "Well I'm a English and American Literature major at NYU, got a full scholarship. I work here at this diner but I'm usually here anyways when I'm off the clock. I have two roommates, Clint and Natasha, who are my best friends. I have two other friends, Pietro and Wanda, and I when I introduced them to Clint and Nat everything went wrong, for me anyways. They set foot in the living room and there's four bright beams of gold going off. Natasha and Wanda were soulmates and Clint and Pietro as well. That was last week and now they're just so happy and being so cute and I can't take it."

Steve laughed, "So you haven't found your soulmate yet?" James shook his head, "Nah and I was completely fine with it because my friends also hadn't but now they have all at once and now I'm like a lone wolf." Steve nodded, "Well at least your soulmate is most likely still alive." James nodded, "Hopefully, hey, Steve, can I see your tattoos? Peggy was talking about them earlier and they sound pretty neat." Steve smiled, "Of course, I smile every time I look at them because they're the only thing I really have left of Bucky y'know?" James nodded, "The way Peggy talked about him he sounded amazing."

Steve took off his jacket and rolled up the little bit of his sleeve that was covering the beautiful marks on his skin on his left arm. "There's a sniper rifle because Bucky was a sniper, a motorcycle because he loved them, 'Brooklyn 1917' because he was born in Brooklyn in 1917, 'Til the End of the Line' because that's what he always told me, dog tags with J.B.B 107 because those are his initials and he was in the 107th, and see there's a new one, which I thought was kind of weird but I just kind of accepted it, it's a cute little coffee cup. I mean I don't really understand if I'm being honest, never saw Bucky drink much coffee." James gave a soft laugh, "Maybe he had a secret coffee addiction he didn't tell you about." Steve chuckled and shook his head, "That makes me think of Bucky crouched down and hiding behind somewhere with a cup of coffee somewhere."

Steve then sighed and looked at James, "So, James, have you ever been to the Captain America exhibit at the Smithsonian, I mean I've heard its pretty neat." James shook his head, "I have not, in fact I'm not quite sure what your talking about." There was a feminine laugh then Sharon placed some coffee and pie on the table, "James Barnes, only you could sit down with Captain America and not know who he is. It's a pleasure to meet your Captain Rogers, Aunt Peggy talks about you all the time. I'm Sharon Carter." James shook his head, "How could I be the only person and who the hell is Captain America?" Steve laughed, "Nice to meet you, Sharon." Sharon looked at James, "I mean I'll let it slide considering that you lost a majority of your memory, but I would have thought learned about it in school by now."

James just shook his head, "The way you're acting I would have thought there would be a 101 class on him." Steve laughed, "You should look him up sometime on the internet or whatever it's called." Sharon just shook her head, "Steve can give you a pretty decent history lesson about World War II and the 1920s and 30s." Sharon walked off and James turned to Steve who was already digging into the cherry pie, "So how did you survive being frozen in ice? I feel like most people wouldn't." Steve nodded, "You're right, most people wouldn't. Until 1941 I wouldn't have survived either. I used to be a real scrawny boy, 5'4", 97lbs, and a laundry list of health problems. Then I volunteered for the experiment that could have killed me, even thought it did Bucky almost killed me when he found out, but basically I went in like I was and when I came out I was 6'0", 200lbs, and no health problems. I was a super solider. Long story short I was on a mission and had to make a quick decision and I ended up frozen, imagine my surprise when I found out I was still alive."

James nodded, "So like the whole cryogenic thing?" Steve shoved a piece of pie in his mouth and nodded. Steve looked at James, "So tell me about you waking up with suits." James shoved a piece of his blueberry pie in his mouth before he begins to talk, "Well they found me in what I like to call a fancy fridge, but it was a cryogenic chamber. They said I wasn't in there for more than a week or two. Let me just say, I was parched, really needed a glass of water. They wouldn't tell me much but gave me my basics information, made me promise not to talk about it in a book or article or television but they're paying for my college so it's not too bad." Steve nodded, "Sounds rough, buddy, at least I have all my memories."

The door rang again and Sharon came out from the back, "Can I help you, sir?" The man spoke, "I'm here to speak with Steve Rogers." Steve stood up, "Fury?" The man turned to him, "Rogers, I need you to come with me." Steve looked at James, "I am having a conversation with someone else at the moment and it would be kind of rude to just leave." James shook his head, "It's okay, Steve, I'll see you around. I come by here at least once a day." Steve nodded, "See you around, James." Steve took out his wallet but Sharon said, "Its on the house, veterans are always on the house." Steve nodded and followed Fury out.

They got into a black SUV and Fury began to talk, "He didn't expect you to run into Barnes, he doesn't have his memory and we thought that it was for the best. Then we found you and you thought he was dead." Steve's eyes went wide, "That really is Bucky?" Fury nodded, "Hydra captured him when he fell from the train, they brain washed him and made him one of their most deadly assassins. Eventually he was left and forgotten about in some facility in Siberia. Cryogenic chamber. From what I know Barnes was a good man and he doesn't need to know what he did while he was under Hydra's control. I was hoping you'd understand, Steve." Steve shook his head, "He's my soulmate! I thought he was dead! I still have new tattoos popping up, look at this." Steve pointed to the coffee cup, "He works at Peggy's diner."

Fury sighed, "Well as you know if you touch your left hand to his left hand then there will be a spark, that'll show him his soulmate and it might spike back some memories, but they might not be the good memories." Steve nodded, "I wouldn't do it if I didn't think it was the right thing. Knowing he's Bucky but having him as my Bucky will kill me." Fury nodded, "I understand, Rogers, I know how you'll get the longing that will eventually drive you into a dark place and it will happen to Barnes as well. I'll drive you back, but I wouldn't do it in public, build up a good connection and then work up to it, he might start remembering before that so it won't be as harsh on his already fried brain." Steve nodded, "So S.H.I.E.L.D is paying for his college education?" Fury nodded, "I mean it's the least we could do, he served for the country and was put through hell, got his brain fried; I think we'd be hearing from some human rights agencies if we didn't at least give me that." Steve shook his head, "Just take me home, Fury."

James was sitting there still eating his pie when Sharon came over, she was in her twenties and and had long blonde hair, "So, James, you seemed to get along with Rogers really well?" James shrugged, "He's a nice guy, I enjoyed talking to him. It's kind of sad to hear about him soulmate, I can't imagine something like that." Sharon nodded, "Aunt Peggy used to tell me that story sometimes. There's a whole portion about it at the Captain America exhibit. I think it's shows how strong the soulmate connection is, Bucky died and Steve lost control and couldn't deal with living without his soulmate so he didn't have a second thought about sacrificing himself." James shook his head, "Steve seems like the type of guy who would have sacrificed himself either way if he thought it was the best option. Maybe if he still had Bucky it would have been different, but I don't know he just seems like a guy who will do what he thinks is best no matter what."  
Peggy spoke up from behind the counter, James wasn't sure how long she had been there, "You're right, James, that's exactly what Steve would have done. He was a pain in the ass. If Bucky was still alive at the time he would have maybe thought it over an extra moment but then he would have most likely ended up in the same situation. Bucky would have cursed his name up and down, would have been angry and hurt, but that wouldn't change what Steve did." James finished his coffee, "It was nice to see you two ladies, I'll see you tomorrow at 6 AM sharp. I'm going to head to a bar." Peggy smiled, "Have fun, dear. Don't drink too much, I'm not dealing with your hungover ass in the morning." James nodded and left.


	2. Chapter 2

In the morning James made it to the diner dressed in his uniform, he also had Natasha, Wanda, Pietro, and Clint trailing him. He walked in and was greeted by Peggy and Sharon. "I come to work with our first customers of the day." James hears a groan from back in the kitchen and Peggy sighs, "Tony, I don't want to hear any moaning from you." Tony sighed and said, "Why am I here again?" Peggy rolled her eyes, "Because Bruce is sick and you are my god child who loves me and will do anything to help me." There were no more sounds of complaints.

Peggy smiled, "I heard you about you four and I wanted to congratulate you." Natasha smiled, "Thank you, Peggy, by the way how have you been?" They all sit down at the counter, ordered their food, and start up a conversation, James didn't have work until 7:30 but always came early to eat his breakfast here. James is only kind of listening, but he can't stop thinking about yesterday, about Steve Rogers. He's not sure why but he's felt a weird yearning for the man since he woke up. He thought about mentioning it to Peggy because she's the wisest person he knows, but then again it just didn't feel right for some reason.

The door rang and James heard Peggy say, "Oh, Steve, it's wonderful to see you again! Come meet some of our regulars!" Steve walked over and Natasha smiled, "Hello, I'm Natasha Romanoff and the goddess next to me is my soulmate, Wanda Maximoff. Then those two shoving their faces with food are Clint Barton and his soulmate, Pietro Maximoff. Then the strong, sullen silent type at the end is James Barnes." Steve smiled, "Nice to meet you guy and to see you again, Bu-James. I'm Steve Rogers." Peggy smiled, "He's Captain America." There was a groan from the kitchen and Tony walked out, "God I hate this guy."

Steve's eyebrows shot up and Peggy waved Tony off, "Don't take it personally, Steve, he's just got some daddy issues." Tony scoffed, "Do not!" Peggy rolled her eyes, "This is Tony Stark, you probably remember his father, Howard Stark. He always talked about you." Steve nodded like he understood, "Ah, Howard Stark, what a great man." Tony rolled his eyes and then Clint spoke up, "I've been to your museum exhibit, aren't you supposed to be dead?" Steve laughed, "You would think, but I've been a popsicle for the past decades. They defrosted me not too long ago." Natasha then said, "Why'd call James Bu-James?"

Steve looked like he saw a ghost, "Well, I, um, just messed up his name. I only met him yesterday," Clint looked at Steve real hard then at James but said nothing. Steve smiled, "So do you think I can get something to eat, I just finished my morning run?" Peggy smiled, "Take a seat and look at the menu, whatever you want Tony will whip it up for you." Steve smiled and went to sit next to James.

He looks at the menu and then at the James, "Got any suggestions there, James?" James looked at Steve and said, "For you I'd suggest the Captain America breakfast, it comes with four blueberry pancakes, seven slices of bacon, 3 eggs, a hash brown, a couple of strawberries, and your choice of two slices of toast, a bagel, or a biscuit. You also get your choice of strawberry, grape, or blueberry jam." Steve's eyes widened and checked to see if it was actually on the menu and of course it was, exactly as James said.

His head snapped up, "Peggy, what the hell?" Peggy smirked, "Using your name sells things to this day, Steve," Steve laughed, "Well I'll have that, eggs scrambled and toast with strawberry jam." Peggy smiled, "Sure thing, Tony, you best get cooking." Tony groaned, "Fucking Captain America." Peggy placed a coffee in front of Steve, "I promise he won't poison your food." Steve laughed and looked back at James, "So James, I'm sorry about yesterday."

James shook his head, "Don't worry, Steve, it's all okay. Had some Captain America things to attend to." Steve smiled, "Can I ask you a few questions about yourself?" James shrugged, "I guess so, go ahead," Steve took a sip of his coffee, "So what's your favorite show or movie, I'm knew to all this and have some down time, I need some suggestions?"

James laughed, "Well my favorite shows are Criminal Minds, F.R.I.E.N.D.S, Psych, Sherlock, and Game of Thrones. When it comes to movies I'm a big fan of Clueless, Mallrats, What a Girl Wants, Titanic, and Romeo + Juliet." Clint spoke up, "Four out of those five movies are chick flicks that Nat showed him." Steve smiled, "Well if he says they're good I believe him." Steve made a note in his phone on both the movies and shows he should watch, that way he can talk about them with James.

The next question Steve hits him with is, "What are some songs and musical artist you like?" James smiled, "Well I absolutely love David Bowie, Coldplay, Muse, TLC, The Strokes, Maroon 5, and The Smiths. Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now by the Smiths is amazing, What Ever Happened by The Strokes, Because by the Beatles obviously, Imagine by John Lennon, and No Scrub by TLC." Wanda blinked at James and said, "What even is your music taste? It's not even like it's bad, it's just all over the place." James just rolled his eyes and corrected Steve on the spelling of the Beatles, which he spelt _Beetles_.

Next Steve asked, "So what is your favorite restaurant around here? Favorite snack foods? Drinks?" James just smiled and answered, "Besides here I really like _Antonia's_ , it's an Italian restaurant in Brooklyn. With snack foods I absolutely love Doritos and any Little Debbie's snacks. Drinks I really like chocolate milk," Clint scoffed, "You sound like a child, Barnes." Steve noticeably swallowed at the name and James rolled his eyes, "Can you mind your own damn business, Barton?"

Sharon walks over and puts two plates in front of Steve and says, "Eat up, Rogers. Barnes, go clock in." Steve starts to dig in and James get's up, "Nice talking with you, Cap." Steve smiles around his bite of pancakes and James feels his heart tug s bit, but he pushes it away and smiles back.

James goes to clock in and Sharon follows him, "It looks like someone has a crush on Captain America," James scoffed, "I'm not his soulmate so it doesn't matter. His is dead and I have yet to meet mine." Sharon nodded, "For all you know you may never meet your soulmate and he could be dead, you wouldn't know." James frowns, "Why would you ever say that to me, Sharon? You know it's cruel. I don't say anything about you not meeting your soulmate, I don't say harsh things like that. There are certain things people just shouldn't say about people's soulmates and you know it."

His voice was raised, he was frustrated because it was cruel to suggest such things. Sharon shook her head, "I'm just trying to help, James. It's naive to not think about these things!" James clenches his fists, "I do think about these things, Sharon! All too often! I can't remember anything I go off what men in suit told when they pulled my ass out of a cryogenic chamber in Siberia! For all I know I've already met them and they think I'm dead or maybe they're dead and I was saved the pain of them telling me he was dead!"

He must have gotten pretty loud because Tony walked back and said, "Hey, Barnes, cool it. Is everything alright?" James took a deep breath, "Yeah, I'm going to wash some dishes." James walked away leaving Sharon and Tony to watch him walk to grab the dirty dishes from Tony making the six meals and went to wash them.

As he washed the dishes he tried to think about a soulmate, trying really hard to think if he had already met them. He just ended up with a lot of flashbacks to the war, which did him absolutely no good as they were so vivid. He couldn't move, all he could do was remember. It was all too much and he could feel himself crying but that didn't stop the flashbacks.

Tony had noticed that all he could hear was the water running, not the sound of dishes, or even James moving. He went to look at James who was block from his line of sight by a slight jut of a wall. He saw James frozen, crying and shaking. His eyes looked distant and like he wasn't really there. He spoke softly, "James, are you okay?" There was no response so he spoke louder, maybe James couldn't hear him over the running water, "James? You alright there, man?' Still no response. Tony didn't like this and decided to go get Peggy.

She was talking to Steve and he said, "Peggy, I think there's something wrong with James. He isn't moving and I can't be his attention, he has this distant look in his eyes and I didn't want to touch him. Does he have PTSD?" Steve stood up, "Good job not touching him, son. Peggy, I got this." Peggy nodded, "Be careful, Steve." Steve nodded and walked to the back.

He found James by the sink. He carefully turned off the water and spoke, "James, are you okay? Are you having a flashback?" No response. He sighed and looked at James, he felt immediate guilt and sadness rush through him. He spoke again but this time in a strong and steady tone, "James Buchanan Barnes, are you alright?" Still no answer. Steve bit his lip, "Bucky, please." That seemed to do the trick and James's head snapped to look at Steve, "Steve?"

Steve gave a soft smile, "Are you okay, James? Were you having a flashback?" James looked down at the fork that had bent in his tight grip. "Yeah, I got frustrated with Sharon because she suggested that my soulmate was dead or I was never going to meet them. I got upset and tried to think if it was possible I had already met them, but even though I tried to think so hard about it all I got was flashbacks from the war." Steve nodded, "It's okay, James, I understand; it happens to the best of us. How about we go on a walk and we can talk about it. It could help talking about it to someone who knows what war's like."

James shook his head, "I have to work. I'm going to have to find a new apartment soon and I need to get the hours in." Steve laughed, "If you think Peggy is going to let you go throughout the rest of the day after that you have another thing comin to ya." Peggy walked in and said, "Steve's right, James. Go take a walk, you need. If it'll make you feel better I count it as a vacation day and you'll still get paid. Your mental health comes first. Plus you gave Tony a real scare, he's worried about you now. Rest and talk to Steve, he's a wonderful listener and usually knows all the right things to stay." James nods, "Alright, Peggy, I'll see you later."

Steve and James leave and James turns to Steve, "Before we go on this walk can we stop at my house so I can change? Don't tell Peggy but I hate this uniform." Steve laughed, "Of course we can." James smiles, "Follow me, I live just down the street."


	3. Chapter 3

James lead Steve to his shared apartment that wasn't too far from the diner. He opened the door and said, "Um, just stay in here and I'll just get changed out of this." Steve nodded and James walked to his room. A thought went through the back of James's head, _I should dress to impress_. He quickly dismissed the thought, why would he want to impress Steve? It's not like they were soulmates or anything, plus Steve seems like the type of guy to wear sweats although he'd probably never let Peggy know that.

James ended up grabbing a pair of sweats and a long sleeved henley and sliding them on, it was much more comfortable than his uniform. He look a deep breath and slipped on his tennis shoes. He was kind of embarrassed about what had happened at the diner, he felt like he should be able to control it but he knew it was okay and it wasn't all his fault. It was an accident and he's been through a lot. He got up and smiled, he was going to be okay.

While James was changing Steve looked around the living room and it was obvious that they used this room often. There were blankets and pillows around the room along with a couple of food items, they must have spent the night in the living room, all five of them. He found a book on the table, it was well read as it was worn. Steve picked it up, _The Sun Also Rises by: Ernest Hemingway_. Steve had read this book before, when he was younger and had gotten sick. Bucky borrowed it from a library and brought it to him to read, it was one of his favorites. He smiled down at the book.

A voice came from Steve's right, "Clint gave me that book for my twenty-sixth birthday, the first one I knew him for. It's my favorite book, I've read it several times." Steve smirked, "I can tell by how worn it is. I read it when it was still a fairly new book. I was sick and it made me feel so much better about being stuck in bed. I have to say it's one of my favorites." He purposely didn't mention Bucky. James laughed, "You could borrow it if you'd like." Steve grinned widely, "I'd really appreciate it." James smiled, "Just take care of it. Now let's go on this walk."

James lead them down to the street and Steve followed, book tight in his grip. Steve gave a soft smile, "So do you want to talk about what happened? It could help possibly," James chewed on his bottom lip and Steve understood, they could talk about it later, "Or about what Sharon said that caused you to think too much. I know you said she mentioned that they could be dead or that you'll never meet them," James looked down as he walked, focusing on his feet, "I mean it bothered me a lot because I thought about it and I could have already met my soulmate, they could be dead or they could be out there wondering what happened to me, thinking I was dead. Like it hurt me a lot to think that they could have been waiting for me to come home from the war and then they were told I was dead, I mean I wouldn't put it past the government to telling someone's soulmate they were dead when what happens to me happens. Then I thought about what if they were in the war with me and maybe they died."

Steve wants to hug James but he knows he shouldn't, that's why he just said, "Well when I was fighting in the war I saw a lot of death and some of it was right in front of their soulmate's eyes. It's always hard. I lost my soulmate right before my own eyes and know what it must feel to even think about the possibility. The thing that sucks is that you never know for sure. Then there's about 14% of the population that doesn't meet their soulmate. So I know that Sharon saying those things could have been very difficult on you." James was playing with his thumb, fidgeting, "Do you have flashbacks, Steve?"

Steve sighed, "I've had two flashbacks since I woke up in the twenty first century, they were both about the same thing. While I haven't had major flashbacks about the war in the way you did I've had one about my soulmate dying." James took a sharp breath, "I'm sorry," Steve shook his head, "You have no reason to be sorry." James nodded, "They're kind of confusing sometimes, seeing as I don't have my full memory. There's a lot of fast movements, death, pain, and then I'm falling. I can almost feel myself falling from high above the ground."

Steve noticeably stiffened, Steve suffers from that same memory, "That sounds awful, James. I'm sorry you have to live with such memories, do you have flashbacks often?" James was chewing at the left side of his lip, "I mean I have them at least once a month, sometimes they're not that bad, but sometimes they're just so intense and it's awful." Steve wanted to put a reassuring hand on James's shoulder but didn't think it was the best idea, "Can I ask you a question, James?"

James hummed, "Yeah, of course," Steve thought real hard on how to word his question, "Do you ever think about your soulmate? Like what they'd look like or what they'd be like?" James laughed, "Yeah I think most people do, the tattoos kind of start to paint a picture and you just really want to see the completed work. I can't remember my younger years that well, but I do know that at first I never really thought it could be a woman, I saw the dog tags and immediately thought it was a man. Then Natasha pointed out that that was a sexist thought and Clint said that for all I know my soulmate might be transgender. I realized they were right, so then I got really confused about what they'd look like.

I imagined them to be really charismatic though, that's always a constant. Sometimes I imagine just hands painting pictures, covered in paint and calloused. I think about the same hands flipping through a bible or praying. I imagine that they'd have a really amazing laugh though, like one of those laughs that makes you want to laugh right along with them or at the very least break out into a huge grin. I bet they'd also have the greatest smile, one that could light up the dark side of the moon. I hope they like taking long drives listening to music and just enjoying each other's presence. Maybe they'd love movies in our pajamas and eating all the junk food. I wonder about the music they'd like, their favorite films and shows, and what'd they'd order from their favorite restaurant. I wonder about so many things like if they'd like looking up at the night sky, if they believe in magic, or what their favorite holiday is."

Steve feels a tug in his chest, he wants so badly to answer all of James's questions. He wants to tell him everything, but he doesn't. Instead he just smiles at James and says, "I hope that you'll one day find out all those answers, James. Those are actually really kind of sweet little things to wonder about your soulmate." James laugh, "I used to think I was never going to meet my soulmate and I was okay with it for awhile, I always felt this cold feeling where the subject came up and I honestly did just assume they could be dead or were so far away that I'd never be able to find them. But now I have this warm feeling where the cold one had been prior, it almost feels like hope. I do care whether or not if I meet them, I really want to meet them."

At this point Steve honestly feels a little guilty, here he is, James's soulmate, walking right next to him. He's listening to everything he's saying about his soulmate and how badly he wants to meet them and he's not telling him the truth. He knows it's in James's best interest, but at this moment it doesn't feel like it. It feels like he's lying to his Bucky, lying to his best friend, soulmate, love of his life. Steve feels sick to his stomach and it must show because James says, "I'm sorry, I'm here talking about my soulmate and my hope to one day see them when you'll never have that privilege to see yours again. I'm so sorry, Steve." Oh boy does he have the wrong idea, Steve is looking right at him soulmate and he's aware of it, Steve has that privilege no matter how much he thought he wouldn't have it when he woke up.

"No, James, it's quite alright. I asked you about your soulmate and I'm completely fine. I was just thinking a little too hard, trying to picture your soulmate. I have come to terms with me and my soulmate." James smiled softly up at Steve, almost like he didn't believe him, it was a look that looked a lot like pity. Steve never wanted James to look at him that way, not when he was small and sick and sure as hell not now. "Really, James, it's all okay. I am far more than okay right now. I'm actually just really concerned about you right now." James sighed, "I'm fine, Steve, just a little tired feeling. Like not physically tired, mentally tired." Steve nodded, "I get what you mean."

They continued walking, talking about small things, James talk about some modern musical, movies, and the internet. Steve listened to him taking in all the things he was saying and asking questions when he was a little confused. Steve talked about his life before Captain America, trying not to mention Bucky where he could and it was really hard for him, Soon it was lunch time and Steve said, how about we go to that Antonia's place you were talking about? I'm paying," James tried to say that he could pay for himself when Steve shook his head and said he could pay the next time they went to grab a bite to eat, James then agreed and so they went to lunch.

They got a table for two and when they sat down a waiter came over, "Hello, my name is Miles I'll be your server today, can I start you off with a drink today?" James smiled, "Yes, can I please have a Diet Coke?" Miles nodded and wrote it down, Then Steve said, "I'll have an Guinness, thank you." Mile wrote it down and said, "I'll be right back with your drinks," James raised an eyebrow, "Drink beer this early?" Steve shrugged, "I can't get drunk and sure as hell not off of one beer so why not?" James laughed, "What do you mean you can't get drunk?" Steve laughed, "The serum made it so I can't get drunk." James nodded, "Ah."

Miles came back with their drinks and said, "Are you ready to order or would you like more time?" James nodded, "I'll have the Cheese Ravioli with meat sauce and Italian cheeses." Steve looked at the menu, "Do you have any good recommendations, Jimmy?" James laughed at the nickname, Clint sometimes called him that, "He'll have the Braised Beef and Tortellini." Miles nodded, "And for sides?" James replied, "We'll both have the Antonia's House Salad." Miles nodded, "I'll bring you your food as soon as possible." Then he was gone.

James and Steve talked aimlessly about anything and everything while they waited for their food. It was just so comfortable and the conversation flowed so well, even when their food came and they fell into a comfortable silence, it just felt oh so right. James was really close with Natasha and Clint and fairly comfortable with Pietro, Wanda, Peggy, and Sharon but it never felt like this. This was something different and James didn't quite understand it but he didn't feel the need to define it.

Over the next few months James and Steve spent a lot of time together and it was always amazing, always felt special even if they were just sitting around watching television together or even if they were having a movie night with the others and playing a game of Jenga while Van Wilder played in the background. James hadn't been this happy since he can remember, of course he's been happy and enjoying his life, but this was a whole new level of happiness that he never knew existed and oh how glad he was it did exist. Steve remember the last time he had been this happy and he was so glad that he got to experience it again. Although they grew closer Steve made sure not even let their tattooed arms coming anywhere close to each other and it was a lot harder than it seemed, he just hoped James didn't notice. Good news was that he didn't, James didn't think anything of it. So they just continued on being happy being in each other's presence.


	4. Chapter 4

Steve was on the couch watching T.V. at James's with Clint, Pietro, and Wanda. They were watch the OC, a soap opera Wanda really liked. James was at work and Steve had already visited him for breakfast. Natasha was also at work, since it was summer now she had more time to work, she really enjoyed her job; she worked as a ballet instructor at a dance school for young children, she loved teaching the kids. It was nice, he spent more time at that house but no one seemed to mind.

When a commercial came on Clint spoke, "Hey, Steve, I have a question for you." Steve hummed, "Shoot, Barton," Steve was not ready for the question that came out of the younger man's mouth, "You're not hanging around Jimmy because he looks like your dead soulmate, right?" Steve tried to laugh it off, "Think I'd still be hanging around here when he was gone if that was the case? I happen to enjoy all of your guys' company for who you guys are." Clint hummed but Pietro spoke up, "I mean you have a fair point there, but the fact that he also shares the same exact name was your supposedly 'dead' soulmate is also kind of red flag."

Then of course Wanda had to have her share of input, "Looks just like him, has the same exact name, middle name and all, and he just happens to not have any of his memory pry to when he was pulled out a damn cryogenic chamber. I mean not to mention his tattoos, you were born in Brooklyn in 1918, there's your shield, sparkler that makes out the Cancer constellation, you're a Cancer born on the fourth of fucking July, and the dog tags that have the initials S.G.R and you being Steven Grant Rogers. Then of course your tattoos matchup exactly to James himself but that's to be expected."

Steve's eyes widened, he really wasn't expecting this, "You guys been waiting three hours to gang up on me like this?" Clint hummed, "I mean it wasn't really planned but it's been bothering me. It seems like everyone but James had put the picture together and we wanted to know the truth." Steve sighed, "James is my soulmate, but I don't think it's the best idea to tell him, for now at least. It could up bad memories that he'll have trouble coping with. He was brainwashed by some very bad people and made to do horrible things, if you ask me he's lucky he can't remember a damn thing."

Pietro nodded, "You say it's best idea to tell him now, but when will a good time come up. I feel like it's better to do it sooner than later at this point, that is unless you never plan to tell him? Then you're just hurting him, we all know he's started to crave his soulmate and I'm more than willing to bet that he's told you all about it. You're so close and he seems to trust you more than anyone, which probably came like a second nature to him without noticing. He's probably going to get mad that you kept it a secret from him and if you don't tell him he'll go his whole life suffering. Then of course you're one wrong touch away from him finding out for himself. You're playing a dangerous game here, Steve."

Steve came here for a good time but he's feeling so attacked right now, he knew they all had both his and James's best interests in mind, but it didn't make the choice he had to make any easier. Steve looked at the others and said, "You're all right and have a valid point. I've been pushing it aside for months because I've been scared and wanted to protect James, but I know before telling him anything that he's going to be mad. If having our soul marked hands touch doesn't fill him with horrible memories he's going to immediately feel betrayed. But you guys have to understand how hard this is."

Clint nodded, "We get it, buddy, you really want to protect Jimmy. I'm sure we'd all have the same issues if we were in your shoes but please know that you're both our friends and you, my friend, are suffering. There are so many times where you look like you want to tell Jimmy everything, you want him to remember, you want him to know that his soulmate is right next to him and he has no need to worry like he does sometimes. But I think that when he gets home tonight you should tell him." Steve nodded, "You're right, I think I'll do just that." Pietro nodded, "Alright, but for now give me that controler, Seinfeld reruns are on right now."

They just sat around most of the day watching whatever was on. At some point Clint remembers he has the last few episodes of America's Next Top Model taped and he needs to catch up. Pietro watches his soulmate who gets over excited over the show and he laughs when Clint gets overset when things take a turn he doesn't like. Wanda rolls her eyes at Clint when she disagrees with him over their opinions on some of the models. Steve doesn't care too much for the show so he pulls out his sketchbook and starts to sketch his favorite model, Mercedes, in an outfit he thought she'd look really cute in. Pietro looked over at Steve's sketch and said, "That looks really good, Steve, where'd you learn to draw like that?"

Steve looked up Pietro and then back down at his drawing, "Oh, I taught myself. I had a fair amount of free time when I was younger. I've had a lot of free time now. I mean I was gonna get a job, but then the government is like, Rogers don't get a job. I technically work for the government but they haven't needed me for anything. Peggy jokes that they're afraid I'll fly into the ocean again." Pietro nodded, "You could always sell your art, it's really good." Steve smiled, "Thanks, kid." Pietro nods and brings his attention back to Clint who is arguing with Wanda over something Steve doesn't want to get into.

It's 3:30 when James gets home to Pietro and Steve trying to break up a fight between Clint and Wanda. Clint yelling, "Leave April alone, you bitch!" Steve is holding Wanda back who looks like if she wasn't being held back she'd be strangling Clint. Pietro is standing in between them trying to calm them down but it's not working. James shuts the door, "It's not even 5 o'clock, guys. Can't a guy get in a beer before he witnesses a murder?" Steve let's go of Wanda and says, "I can get you a beer."

Wanda lunges forward and Pietro yells, "Steve!" Steve squeaks, "My bad," He grabs Wanda before she can get to Clint. James groans and walks over, "Clint, Wanda, it's just a damn show. Get over it, come on." Wanda stands down and Clint huffs. James smiles, "There, now come on, who wants a beer?" Steve smiles, "I'll go grab 'em." Steve let's go of Wanda who isn't actively trying to kill Clint. He walks to the kitchen and everyone looks at James. He looks back, "What, no welcome home? I work hard all day, come home to a fight, and all I get is stares? At least Steve offered to get me a beer and he doesn't even live here."

Clint looked hard at James as he remembers the earlier conversation they had with Steve and says, "Sorry, Jimmy, just wondering when you were gonna get a damn haircut. You look like a fucking hippie." James scoffed and Pietro nodded, "He's right, grandpa, you could use a trim at the very least." Wanda hummed, "What we're saying is if you don't get it cut soon we're going to sheer you like a sheep." James laughed, "Alright, I get it, I'll go to the barber tomorrow." Clint nodded, "Thank god, I thought you were trying to live out some weird fantasy you have of being Rapunzel." James just shook his head as he laughed.

Steve came back into the living room and said, "There's only four beers left but it's okay because I don't need one anyways." He handed the others a beer and Wanda said, "Thanks, Steve, but don't you have something to talk about with James?" Steve took a deep breath, "I do, thank you for the reminder, Wanda. Jimmy, can I talk to you alone?" James took a swig of his beer, "Sure thing, we can talk in my room." James leads Steve to his room so they could talk.

James sat down on his bed and Steve sat down on the chair by the wardrobe, "So I've been keeping some things from you, James. Some things that I should have told you a lot sooner, but I was afraid. I was told to be cautious when it came to you but I may have been too much so," James's brows furrow, "What do you mean, Steve? That's kind of vague," Steve nodded, "Well now that I'm trying to say it it's really hard to get the words out. Well remember the first day we met?" James nodded, "Well remember how that bald man came in asking for me and I had to leave?" James nodded again and Steve continued, "Well he had to talk to me about you."

James looked confused, "What about me?" Steve looked at his bare feet against the wooden floor, "Wel-" James cut him off, "You say well one more time, Rogers, and I'll knock your lights out." Steve laughed, "I know you wouldn't because you want to know what I'm getting at, you'd have to wait if you knocked me out." James just glares at him, "Alright, alright, as I was saying, do you remember the first thing I said to you?" James nodded, "To quote you exactly, 'Bucky?', you thought I was your dead soulmate."

Steve nodded, "For good reason because that's the thing, I know this about to sound really weird but I need you to listen to me. Listen to me with a completely open mind, can you do that for me, Jimmy?" James nodded and Steve continued, "Your names is James Buchanan Barnes, born March 10th, 1917. Look closely at your tattoos, Jimmy. The Captain America shield; Brooklyn 1918, I was born in Brooklyn in 1918; the sparkler with the Cancer constellation; I was born on the Fourth of July making me a Cancer; the paint because I'm an artist; the cross with 'Daniel 1:4'; I'm Christian; and the dog tags, S.G.R, my name is **S** teven **G** rant **R** ogers."

James looked so confused, he looked at his arm and back at Steve who continued, "You fell off a train and HYDRA found you. They brainwashed you and made you do terrible things, put you in a cryogenic chamber when they didn't need you. You have serum in you that makes you a super soldier. When they found you they told you it hadn't been that long, but the truth is it was sixty years. I haven't told you because I didn't want to overwhelm you but I feel like that's exactly what I'm doing right now." He decided it was best to just stop talking and give James a chance to take in what he's already said. James was looking at his tattoo and after a minute he looked up and laughed, "I mean that's a fuckng lot to process. I may not remember anything but I am aware who HYDRA is and I'm aware that anything they could have done wasn't good, anything they made me do wasn't good."

Steve nodded but didn't say anything. James took a deep breath, "I mean I do understand why you were scared to tell me, but it's honestly it's a little relieving because I thought I was going insane about the connection we seemed to have. I felt guilty because I didn't know my soulmate and thought your was dead. God, this really is a lot. Holy fuck I'm old. I mean this kind of explains why people, especially History majors, dear god, looked at me so weird." Steve said, "The part I was mostly scared about was not the whole telling you thing, I figured it couldn't go that bad. Although I expected you to feel a lot more betrayed. I mean it's a lot and I thought you might punch me, but what really scares me is touching you."

James once again looks at his right arm, "If we touch there will be a spark. It will spark the connection." Steve nods, "It could also spark unwanted memories from when you were under HYDRA's control." James sighs, "Well it looks like we have two options, either we touch and see what happens or we don't and we suffer knowing we're soulmates but we can't each other, I mean we can hold our unmarked hands but that's it really." Steve nodded, "In the end it's your decision because it affects you the most overall."

James nods, he spends a few minutes thinking it over. He knows what he could remember at that could really do a lot to his mental health, but he knows how strongly he felt for Steve not even knowing he was his soulmate, he was so drawn to him and there were multiple times when James did want to ask Steve to kiss him or even just hug him. Their connection is so strong he doesn't think the second option is too logical. He looked at Steve in the eyes, they were full of worry and confusion, he didn't want them to look like that. James decided and took a deep breath, "I think we should touch, we have a really strong connection and I don't think just not touching is logical. If I have to suffer then it will be worth it. If I feel this strong for you with only knowing you for a few months and not knowing you were my soulmate then I can't imagine what will happen with even a fraction of my memories."

Steve nodded, "Alright, should we do it now or do you want to wait?" James scoffed, "I think I've waited long enough, don't you?" Steve nodded, "Okay, so do we just-" James cut Steve off and grabbed his left hand and then there was the spark. James was suddenly hit by a wave of love, he loved Steve so much. Memories started to come back, but none of them were bad, they were all beautiful. James looked up at Steve who started at him with this look that made James feel safe, loved, happy, and completed.

Steve was so overwhelmed but he needed to stay strong in case something went wrong, but James just stared at him. He spoke, "Jimmy?" James shook his head, "Bucky." Steve let out a sound that almost sounded like a sob, "Buck, are you okay?" Bucky nodded, "I'm better than okay. I can only remember you and it's so beautiful. You're so beautiful, Steve. God, I love you, Stevie." Steve pulled Bucky in and hugged him tightly, "I love you too, Buck. I love you so much. I have missed you so much you don't even know." Bucky laughed, "That's not fair, Steve, and you know it, punk." Steve laughed back, "God you're such a jerk." They just stood there and held each other, happy to be able to hold their other half again. _God_ , Steve thought, _this is almost too good to be true._


End file.
